The Shame of the Game

The Shame of the Game
Rachel Birdsell

Rachel Birdsell

Why is it that if a man has had more sexual partners than he has fingers and toes, he’s just being a man? The excuses are that he’s a virile, manly man simply following his virile, manly, and completely natural impulses. The poor dears just can’t keep it in their pants, because they’re ruled by testosterone, and we giggle, call them horndogs and give them a figurative or literal pat on the back. But, this isn’t the case for women.

When a woman has had more varieties of beef than a Jewish deli, she’s a whore, a slut, a tramp, and is accused of acquiring every STD under the sun, as though she’s trying to collect the complete set. There’s even the false premise that part of a woman’s anatomy enlarges in direct proportion to the amount of sex she’s had. When was the last time you’ve heard someone talking about the size of a man’s penis changing in proportion to how many times he’s made the beast with two backs?

To confuse things further, while women aren’t supposed to have a lot of sex, we are supposed to be a lot sexy. Look at any advertising, and we’re told that women should wear clothes that are sexy, have long, flowing, sexy tresses, wear makeup, and dot perfume called something like “Heaving Bosom” behind our ears. But, that’s where sexy has to stop for us. We should exude sexiness at all times, but all the gods in all the religions and mythologies of the universe forbid that we actually have a lot of sex. And, if you want even more confusion, if we wear a blouse that shows cleavage or a skirt that exposes some thigh, we’re dressing like whores. So, we’re supposed to be sexy, without showing any of our girl bits, and without having a lot of sex.

So, why this glaring difference between men and women? I think it can be blamed on the fact that throughout history, women have been the property of men. Until recently, relatively speaking, we weren’t able to own property, vote, or have the right to handle our own financial affairs. Hell, a mere 42 years ago, unmarried women couldn’t even legally purchase birth control. Throw in the majority of religions that believe women should be submissive, which to me is the same thing as being property, and the sum total is that we’ve been squashed under the thumb of men, so it makes sense that we haven’t been allowed to celebrate the sexual beings we are.

But, even if we understand where all of this hypocrisy is coming from, why are we still allowing it to continue? Why aren’t more people speaking up every time someone makes the comment about a woman’s vagina echoing because she’s had so much sex? Why aren’t we speaking up when a woman is slut shamed for wearing the clothes she wants to wear? Why aren’t more of us speaking up when a woman is called a whore? It’s time to end shaming women for being sexual creatures. We’re all sexual creatures, and we should all have the freedom to explore our sexuality, embrace it, and have as much sex with as many or as few partners as we want. Viva la revolución!

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and graphic artist. You can reach her at rabirdsell@gmail.com.

Categories: Commentary