Oscar Night Drinking Game

February 24, 2011

No matter who wins, your liver loses!

If Oscar bingo isn’t your thing, how about a friendly Oscar night drinking game with compadres and acquaintances?
Here’s a starting point for rules for a semi-sodden Oscar celebration. Please remember to play responsibly. If a friend tries to drive impaired, feel free to go Christian Bale on their ass.

Take one sip:

• Presenter flubs up his or her line or mispronounces a name.
• Singing by Anne Hathaway or James Franco. Bonus: Singing by Gwyneth Paltrow.
• Joke falls flat.
• Ugly dress.
• Drink for every person you know on the annual Death Slideshow (shout “Don’t call me Shirley!” and slam back when you see Leslie Nielson).
• Dance number. Bonus: It’s ballet in honor of “Black Swan.”
• Orchestra cuts off overly long speech.
• Kissy-face.
• Someone calls for solidarity for Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, or any other country.
• Five or more people go up at the same time to accept award.
• Tears!
• Jeff Bridges has long hair.
• Mark Zuckerberg gets a mention.
• Someone tries to exit stage the wrong way and has to be wrangled by models.
• Helena Bohnam Carter or Russell Brand wear an outfit that could be described as “quirky.”
• When someone says, “This is so unexpected,” or the like.
• Movie trailer for one of the films up for an award airs during commercial break. Bonus: when a movie trailer for a film not up for an Academy Award airs.
• Winner puts on glasses to read acceptance speech.
• Sighting of former Academy Awards host (Jon Stewart, Billy Crystal, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, Hugh Jackman, Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock, Whoopi Goldberg, David Letterman, Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Paul Hogan, Alan Alda, Jane Fonda, Robin Williams, Warren Beatty, etc.)

Take two sips:

• Wardrobe malfunction!
• Reminder that Haiti’s still in bad shape.
• Nick Cage sighting. Bonus: If he has awesome hair.
• Someone sports a ponytail.
• Visible tattoo. Bonus: Angelina Jolie.
• Disingenuous smile and applause from loser.
• James Cameron joke.
• Unfunny banter between James Franco and Anne Hathaway.
• Nominee shown in video or via video link.
• Weird giggles from winner.
• James Franco mentions cutting off his own arm.
• Someone mentions how long the awards ceremony is.
• Every time Anne Hathaway
changes costume.
• Joke about Jack Nicholson’s age.