Licking For Love

By Amy Alkon

I went on a first date to a Japanese restaurant. My date kept licking his fingers clean. All his fingers. One by one. He’s otherwise a truly great guy, but I don’t know whether I can date someone with such weird table manners.

— Shocked

Coyotes lick their paws for good reason — because there’s no waiter to bring them a warm washcloth in a little dish. When an adult human does this on the first date — the date we all know is scored by a team of invisible judges in the mind of the person we’re with — you really have to wonder. As for whether this guy’s dining behavior will be a deal breaker, when you don’t have an answer, the best answer is usually waiting and collecting information until you do. So go on a few more dates. See whether he sticks his snout in the gravy boat. How you ultimately respond will probably depend on both the strength of your gag reflex and how old you are. Women in their early 20s will ditch a guy if his cowlick grows in the wrong direction. Women in their 50s and beyond understand that “truly great guys” are in short supply, and they come to appreciate the little things in a man, such as a pulse, bladder control, and the ability to remain awake throughout sex.

(c)2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (advicegoddess.com). Weekly radio show: blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon