Stare Way To Heaven

Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon

I read your column, so I get that men are visual creatures. But, I’m wondering, when is it OK for a woman to be jealous over her boyfriend looking at other women?

— Piqued

There are men who make you feel like the only woman in the world and men who make you feel like the only thing standing between them and a clear view of some other woman’s jigglies. Lynne Truss, in her book on manners, “Talk to the Hand,” writes that “manners are based on an ideal of empathy, of imagining the impact of one’s own actions on others.” In other words, while all men look, rude men let themselves get caught. So, the question really isn’t when to be jealous, but when to be on your way. The responsibility here is yours: To choose the guy who’ll take the occasional visual freebie that crosses his path, but lose the guy whose body language says he’d trade you to passing Bedouins for five minutes with her … and he’ll just duck out to the parking lot to see if there are any men looking for parking spaces for their camels.

(c)2009, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail (

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