Groin Pains

Groin Pains

By Amy Alkon

I’m 21, and I’ve just gotten my first girlfriend, this amazing girl I’ve known since high school. I lost my virginity to her, and I’ve since started having sex dreams about my female friends. Two of these girls are recently single and have been hanging with me a lot and using me for a shoulder to cry on. I love my girlfriend, but the opportunity for stepping out, combined with my overactive libido, has me worried.

— Itchy

When you’re a 21-year-old guy who has just discovered sex and is looking to remain faithful, loving someone deeply is a start. It also helps to pay someone to knock you unconscious and encase you in a block of ice. Welcome to the 20-something male libido. In other words, of course you’re having sex dreams about your female friends. (You were expecting recurring thoughts about stenciling wall art in the front room?)

Life consists of trade-offs. You can have a girlfriend or a sex buffet. Pick one. And be realistic. Your heart might belong to your girlfriend, but if other parts of you are raring to go all Dora the Explorer, you may need to have a bunch of sex friends before you’re one woman’s boyfriend. If you do choose love, be mindful about how easy it is to succumb to temptation. Keep yourself out of harm’s way with some fidelity-promoting rules, like that you aren’t allowed to be alone with lonely single women, except maybe those who’d have a hard time catching you because they are 90 and didn’t get the motorized scooter that goes up to turbo.

(c)2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail ( Weekly radio show:

Categories: Advice, Advice Goddess