Advice
Speed Hating
We had another date, and he asked for exclusivity, and even said he wouldn’t mind if I got pregnant.
Jupiter in Aries, Saturn Retrogrades
The news that astrology has changed is a hoax! It’s another diversion from reality. — Risa
Extremely Old Spice
Last year, an 80ish married man — a member of my literary club — called me, confessed his passion for me and begged me to have a romantic dinner with him. I reluctantly made plans to meet “Romeold” for coffee, intending to let him down gently. He took this “date” as a green light to e-mail me a lurid “fictional” story — a detailed blueprint for the affair he wanted us to have.
Horoscopes: Jan. 6-12
Thursday is Epiphany (Greek for “revelation”), Three Kings Day, the day the Three Astrologer Magi Kings found the Holy Child in the stable, offered gifts of gold, frankincense & myrrh (gifts given to Apollo).
Home Is Where The Fart Is
My wife of eight years is a really good person but always needs reassurance that she’s attractive. I’m finding that difficult because, on a typical night, she takes a dump in our master bathroom with the door open, saunters over to our bed with a few open sores on her face from picking her zits, rips a fart and comes at me for a kiss.
An Unfair To Remember
In middle school, I got a crush on “Sam,” but he wasn’t interested. In high school, he took me to prom, but only as friends when none of the other girls he asked said yes.
Horoscopes: Dec. 23
Christmas is Saturday, with a Virgo (let us not be critical, let us be grateful) moon (with matter, mother, the past). Let us, as an antidote, have the purposeful intentions for Gratitude, for Goodwill which, through the establishment of Right Relations, brings Peace to the world which “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing.”
Horoscopes: Dec. 16
The Cherubim, angels from the constellation Cancer, guardians of families begin to surround the Earth. We “set our eyes toward Bethlehem”. On the way what gifts for each sign shall we bring?
