The use of the phrase Black Friday to describe the day after Thanksgiving was first used in 1951 by an associate editor of “Factory Management and Maintenance.”
The editor wrote that “Friday-after-Thanksgiving-itis“ was a disease second only to the bubonic plague in its effects, due to how many employees called in sick on that day. A decade later, Philadelphia police began referring to the post-Thanksgiving Friday as Black Friday due to the headaches caused by all of the extra traffic from Christmas shoppers.
However the phrase was coined and by whom isn’t necessarily important. What is important is that it perfectly describes the day. Black, bleak, dark, discouraging, oppressive, melancholy, depressing, hopeless. Take your pick. I think they all fit. Black Friday sales turn people into soulless, glassy-eyed lunatics who will literally trample someone to death to get a big screen television. People are willing to fight for a doll, game or other toy that they are convinced their child must have lest Junior fail to grow up to be a greedy little a-hole, thus threatening the perpetuation of the greedy a-hole species.
What does that teach the child? They know what’s going on. They see the videos of people morphing into troglodytes when the store doors are opened on Black Friday morning. Are they supposed to be proud that their parents shoved people out of the way to get them their toy? Is that supposed to make them feel loved? Daddy loves me so much he sucker punched some other dude so I could have my Prissy Pees a Lot doll?
Now, lest you Black Friday shoppers come after me, I realize that not all of you are lunatics. If you aren’t one of the shoppers who is willing to knock down another human being for a television, this isn’t about you, so tuck that pitchfork back into the barn and douse the torch. For the rest of you, stop and examine your priorities.
C’mon, people. You spend a day talking about what you’re thankful for, and 12 hours later you’re brawling in the electronics department over some crappy, no-name mp3 player that will break three weeks after Junior opens it. I’d like to think that people could stop being so damn greedy, but it’s probably not going to happen. There is good news, though, and that is that in-store shopping sales for Black Friday have declined while online shopping sales have increased. So, while we may not be able to curb people’s greediness, we can stop them from resorting to violence over it, at least violence towards other people. Their computers, on the other hand, will probably get the shit beat out of them. On the bright side, there will more than likely be one hell of a sale on a replacement.
Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can reach her at rabirdsell@gmail.com
Thanks, but No Thanks
Rachel Birdsell
The use of the phrase Black Friday to describe the day after Thanksgiving was first used in 1951 by an associate editor of “Factory Management and Maintenance.”
The editor wrote that “Friday-after-Thanksgiving-itis“ was a disease second only to the bubonic plague in its effects, due to how many employees called in sick on that day. A decade later, Philadelphia police began referring to the post-Thanksgiving Friday as Black Friday due to the headaches caused by all of the extra traffic from Christmas shoppers.
However the phrase was coined and by whom isn’t necessarily important. What is important is that it perfectly describes the day. Black, bleak, dark, discouraging, oppressive, melancholy, depressing, hopeless. Take your pick. I think they all fit. Black Friday sales turn people into soulless, glassy-eyed lunatics who will literally trample someone to death to get a big screen television. People are willing to fight for a doll, game or other toy that they are convinced their child must have lest Junior fail to grow up to be a greedy little a-hole, thus threatening the perpetuation of the greedy a-hole species.
What does that teach the child? They know what’s going on. They see the videos of people morphing into troglodytes when the store doors are opened on Black Friday morning. Are they supposed to be proud that their parents shoved people out of the way to get them their toy? Is that supposed to make them feel loved? Daddy loves me so much he sucker punched some other dude so I could have my Prissy Pees a Lot doll?
Now, lest you Black Friday shoppers come after me, I realize that not all of you are lunatics. If you aren’t one of the shoppers who is willing to knock down another human being for a television, this isn’t about you, so tuck that pitchfork back into the barn and douse the torch. For the rest of you, stop and examine your priorities.
C’mon, people. You spend a day talking about what you’re thankful for, and 12 hours later you’re brawling in the electronics department over some crappy, no-name mp3 player that will break three weeks after Junior opens it. I’d like to think that people could stop being so damn greedy, but it’s probably not going to happen. There is good news, though, and that is that in-store shopping sales for Black Friday have declined while online shopping sales have increased. So, while we may not be able to curb people’s greediness, we can stop them from resorting to violence over it, at least violence towards other people. Their computers, on the other hand, will probably get the shit beat out of them. On the bright side, there will more than likely be one hell of a sale on a replacement.
Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can reach her at rabirdsell@gmail.com