Advice Goddess
Miffed Connection
I called to ask her out and … silence. She then said, “I can’t … as I think I may have something else to do.”
Barenaked Laddies
Just wondering … when’s the last time you saw a man enter a strip club with a big plastic vagina strapped to his head?
Managed Frisk
We all have our indulgences, but how much porn is too much? My boyfriend has hundreds of porn bookmarks in his smart phone.
With This Ring, I Thee Dump
Two months before our wedding, a dear male friend of mine confessed his love for me. After much soul-searching, I called my wedding off.
Ingrate Expectations
The next day, he was grumpy and distant. When I finally called him on it, he said he was sexually frustrated (despite the fact that we usually have sex three times a week).
Speed Hating
We had another date, and he asked for exclusivity, and even said he wouldn’t mind if I got pregnant.
Extremely Old Spice
Last year, an 80ish married man — a member of my literary club — called me, confessed his passion for me and begged me to have a romantic dinner with him. I reluctantly made plans to meet “Romeold” for coffee, intending to let him down gently. He took this “date” as a green light to e-mail me a lurid “fictional” story — a detailed blueprint for the affair he wanted us to have.
Home Is Where The Fart Is
My wife of eight years is a really good person but always needs reassurance that she’s attractive. I’m finding that difficult because, on a typical night, she takes a dump in our master bathroom with the door open, saunters over to our bed with a few open sores on her face from picking her zits, rips a fart and comes at me for a kiss.
An Unfair To Remember
In middle school, I got a crush on “Sam,” but he wasn’t interested. In high school, he took me to prom, but only as friends when none of the other girls he asked said yes.
Dirty-Something
My husband surfs the Internet for porn and pictures of women when he’s bored. I want to accept this, but I can’t help but feel insecure and betrayed.
