Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Pieces

I have a crush on my neighbor of two years. I don’t rush into dating, I like to get to know a girl so I see we’ll be a good fit. Typically, I end up making more friends than girlfriends. I now see this girl’s everything I’m looking for. Unfortunately, she now has a boyfriend. I don’t want to break anyone up, but I’d still like to say something.

— Late

It is wise not to rush into asking a woman out. At least wait until she turns around so you can see that she’s a woman — one you happen to be attracted to — and not a guy with really pretty hair. Be honest: You’re yet another guy floating what he hopes is a plausibly deniable wimpout — a creative excuse for being too big a weenie to risk rejection. You get to know a girl by dating her. If you don’t like what you get to know on the first date, you don’t ask for a second one. If you must say something now, try this: “Got any cute friends?” Should you meet one, see that you ask her out before you’re so far into the friend zone that you’re French-braiding each other’s hair.

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).