Not the Marrying Type, Part II

Not the Marrying Type, Part II
Rachel Birdsell

Rachel Birdsell

Last week I introduced you to New York pastor, Stephen Kim, who wrote an article about what types of women Christian men should steer clear of when they’re looking for someone to marry. I shared the first five types of dastardly women that must be avoided at all costs, and today I’m sharing the remaining five women on Stephen’s asinine list.

6. The Loud-Mouth – This isn’t a big-mouthed woman, but rather a gossiper. According to Stephen, “desperate housewives make for desperate husbands.” Unfortunately, he doesn’t explain why that is. He also doesn’t explain what women are supposed to do if it’s the man who likes to gossip. I’ve met plenty of men who love to dole out the juicy bits.

7. The Child-Hater – This doesn’t mean what you think it means. It doesn’t mean that the woman hates all children. It just means she doesn’t want to have any of her own, which actually doesn’t mean the woman hates children at all. Like he did with feminists in last week’s post, Stephen again makes reference to how crowded Christian land is, and lets us know that there isn’t any room for married couples who remain intentionally childless. So, Stephen wants couples who don’t really want kids to have kids, which sounds like an awesome idea.

8. The Wander-Luster – Did you know that if you’re a woman who regularly needs to be out of the house, there’s something wrong with you? I didn’t either until Stephen showed me the light. He thinks that if you constantly want new experiences, new places and faces and new entertainment there’s something horribly wrong with you. But, no worries, because family vacations with your husband and the two kids you didn’t really want are a-ok!

9. The Career Woman – Women, you can have jobs, but expect to give them up once you have children, and don’t expect to pick them back up until your children are grown and out of the house. That’s because God made men to be the providers and women to be the homebodies.

10. The Devotionless Woman – If a woman isn’t having daily devotions, then ditch her. Sorry, guys, but Jesus has to be the first man in her life, not you, ya selfish bastards.

I know Christians who are probably pretty sick of people like Stephen who aren’t doing anything to help the word Christian not be synonymous with batshit crazy. I also know Christians who would look at this list and laugh their asses off because of its inanity. Maybe those of you who count yourself a believer could speak up and let the Stephens of the world know that it isn’t 1831, and that we women are no longer door mats, no matter how much he enjoys wiping his feet on us.

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and graphic artist. You can reach her at The opinions expressed are those of the author.

Categories: Commentary
Tags: Curious Crow