The Family That Puts ‘Fun’ In Dysfunction

By Rachel Birdsell

I’m not sure how many of you are aware of The American Family Association, but I think it’s time you get acquainted.

The AFA is a Christian organization that claims to be one of the “most effective pro-family organizations in the country.” If by “pro-family,” they mean hateful and bigoted, I wholeheartedly agree.

Some of the AFA’s divisions are American Family Radio and One News Now, which is kind of like the Weekly World News for Christians, except the Weekly World News tells the truth once in awhile.

Another element of the AFA is their Planned Giving division. On their website you can read stories of donors who are more than happy to give, give, give to the AFA.

Along with the stories are stock images of smiling seniors that look as though they could also be used in an advertisement for Depends.

The Depends probably ends up less full of crap than the AFA’s Planned Giving division. However, if you don’t want to give up any of your hard-earned retirement money and only get a tax break in return, no worries.

You can shop at the AFA’s online store. Although no longer available, their most memorable item was the light-up cross they were selling as a holiday decoration.

Unfortunately, it was a yard ornament, and most Americans don’t think it’s cool to have a blazing cross in the front yard.

Yes, idiocy abounds at the AFA and Bryan Fischer, director of issue analysis and host of “Focal Point” radio show, isn’t afraid to open his mouth and let us witness the absurdity firsthand.

In the aftermath of the Aurora shootings, Bryan let us know that, “When students are taught they are no different from animals, they act like it.”

He went on to explain that the gunman saw himself as “evolutionarily advanced just like he was taught in school about Darwin, that this is how natural selection works.” Something tells me that Bryan doesn’t have even the tiniest grasp on natural selection.

But Bryan doesn’t save his idiotic remarks for horrific events. Recently, when expounding on the hullaballoo surrounding Chick-fil-A, he remarked that “the bullies at Big Gay are coming after Chick-fil-A.”

I have no idea what Big Gay is, but I’ve narrowed it down to three things. It’s either every gay man’s dream guy, a giant gay timepiece, or it’s a conglomerate filled to the brim with gay people who do nothing all day but push their agenda on people.

Clock in. Push agenda. Lunch. Push agenda. Break time. Push agenda. Clock out. There’s nothing like putting in a hard day being a representative from Big Gay.

And if Bryan’s previous two stances don’t bring you to think that maybe all of his dogs don’t bark, he actually defended Michele Bachmann when she stated that Huma Abedin was connected to the Muslim Brotherhood.

You see, Bryan thinks that Muslims are worshipping a demon god. Bryan, if your statements alone don’t make people think you’re a bit on the barmy side, defending Michele “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann will.

So, who cares about the AFA and Bryan Fischer? Well, I hope we all do, because, while the AFA may just be spouting extreme views to make some easy money, there are a plethora of people who agree with those extreme views.

The AFA is spreading hate and bigotry and they’re doing so in the name of Jesus. While I’m not even slightly a Christian, I do say Jesus Christ a lot and I dig some of Jesus’ teachings. I especially like the one about loving your neighbor. I happen to know some Christians who actually follow that commandment of Christ.

The AFA, on the other hand, seems to be more preoccupied with evil than love. Their action statement has five items, and love isn’t mentioned until you get to No. 5.

No. 1, however, is that they restrain evil by exposing the works of darkness. Holy, nutjobs, Batman!

Those of us who fall on the side of equality, love and not being completely bonkers, need to keep speaking up and out about organizations like the AFA.

Hopefully, the more we speak out, the less people will fall for such rubbish, especially when that rubbish is someone trying to claim that Michele Bachmann is not only sane, but relevant.


Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer and artist. You can drop her a line at

Categories: Commentary