Q. I like to dress well and wear better clothing, but I never want to look like I’m obsessed with it. What is key to avoid going overboard and wearing “too much”?
A. In a world filled with men who don’t seem to care at all how they look, it’s nice to hear from one who thinks about how he presents himself, who wants to look his best, and who pays attention to what others see. Your question reminds me that there is even a word for caring, but not wanting to appear to care too much. “Sprezzatura” is an Italian word that refers to a kind of effortless grace, the art of making something difficult look easy, an air of nonchalance. The term is most often used in the context of men’s fashion, where classic outfits are purposefully worn in a way that seems a bit off, as if they were put on while in a hurry.
The key to nailing the sprezzatura look is not to overthink it. Trying too hard or going too bold can detract from, rather than add to, your style. A few small, just-a-bit-off looks that are possibilities include: rolling up the sleeves on a traditional white dress shirt; wearing a classic shirt open-at-the-neck under a blazer and adding a silk pocket square; wearing a traditional sport coat with well-cut jeans; introducing bold patterns, bright colors, or luxurious fabrics to an otherwise quiet look. All of these would be worn with a certain devil-may-care attitude.
The term “sprezzatura” first appeared 500 years ago, defined as “studied carelessness,” so as to make whatever one does appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.
Then and now, some men dress so perfectly that, in order not to appear as dandies, they purposely create a mistake in their appearance. In the same way, weavers of fine silk rugs purposely cast a mistake into the design. Nothing should be too perfect.
This reminds me of an experience I had some years ago and that I wrote about in my book, “Dress for Excellence.” The power of personal style was illustrated to me one evening in Indianapolis. I was working with several managers of the J. I. Case Company to set up a presentation for a meeting I was addressing the next day. It was late when we were through, and we went to the hotel bar to relax.
When the waitress brought our bill, she never asked who was paying. She just put it down in front of the right man, the ranking officer. How did she know? He was wearing, with his well-cut blazer, a handsome vivid blue tie – an unusual tie, but he wore it with aplomb and confidence. His looks said, “I’m in charge.”
The manager was no exhibitionist. But he enjoyed being noticed and remembered. His image had been perked up with the dash and flair that accrue to those who make good use of a distinctive element or style in their dress.
There are several reasons why a successful man will adopt a singular style or “trademark” item of clothing. It may make him stand out from the crowd. It may express an aspect of his personality that he feels merits attention Or, he may simply like the way it makes him look.
Adding a bit of personality to timeless pieces while your own style shines through is the way to go. So long as you adopt only one or two special touches, you are gaining distinction and sophistication. But if you add too many, the effect becomes counterproductive. You would come across as being too concerned with yourself and your look.
Please send your men’s dress and grooming questions and comments to MALE CALL: Lois.Fenton@prodigy.net
