Advice Goddess
Mothership Of Fools
Strange how nobody ever manages to shoot video when there’s an alien spaceship in the vicinity — perhaps because they’re too busy recording that guy, two traffic lanes over, who’s picking his nose.
Tour Of Doody
When men say they “love surprises,” they mean the sort involving an impromptu striptease, not where you wait till the sixth date to tell them that, no, that child seat actually isn’t for your terrier.
The Shrining
Endlessly replaying the memories of how perfect your ex was is a great idea — if you’re looking to grow old with a tube sock and a vat of lotion.
Talk Dirt-Cheap To Me
Your husband comes into the living room, and there you are — sitting on the floor with a Starbucks cup and a cardboard sign that says, “Anything helps. God bless.”
Wealth Care Crisis
The way you see it, your friend found that mythical leprechaun with the pot of private jets and beachfront property — and she was all, “Too short! Too green! NEXT!”
A Mile In Somebody Else’s Choose
I’m a woman who’s on the feminist dating app Bumble, where women have to make the first move. Men can only write back to women who message them. I thought
Thinking Outside The Boobs
We all appreciate a nice view, but your eyes might be lingering a bit long in the wrong places if you hear stuff like “Sir…are you ready for my areolas to take your order?”
Aisle Always Love You
There’s being cuddly at the supermarket, and then there’s being cuddly in a way that says, “We usually do this with whipped cream.”
Casual Coroner
I dress like a tomboy: jeans, T-shirts, hoodies, and work boots. My boyfriend of a year wants me to wear skirts and dresses more often. Nothing trashy. Just not my
Look On The Always Right Side
Why not take this to the next level and get an inflatable girlfriend? You wouldn’t need to feed her, and you could save big on travel if you’d just let the air out of her, fold her up, and stuff her in your carry-on.