What outfits are OK for a formal wedding

November 14, 2024

Q. I received an email from a reader with a photograph of himself dressed in an outfit that he was asking about, and the following question: “Ok for a formal wedding?” The photo showed him wearing a pair of jeans, a Western turquoise bolo tie and matching belt buckle, along with the top two pieces of a charcoal gray three-piece suit (that is, a matching suit jacket and vest).

A. I responded to him with the following email: “Thank you for your email. I’m afraid I need more info before I can answer your question. Mainly, where do you live and where is the wedding?

In most places, the answer would be, “No, this is definitely not dressy enough or at all correct for a formal wedding.” But, if you live in the Southwest, and if Western dress is acceptable in your social circle, it might possibly be just fine.

The important thing when dressing for a wedding, is not to be disrespectful to the bride and groom and to their families. If you think that what you are planning to wear is questionable, I advise asking the bride’s family for input on how you should interpret the invitation.

I would be happy to answer you more specifically if you can give me some more information.”

Then he responded, “Wedding is in Chicago, Professional Baseball player type guests. I am a retired firefighter from Colorado with a Red Neck vibe.”

I am sorry to report what you may not want to hear, but I strongly believe you need to rethink wearing this mismatched outfit to a “formal wedding. “ Blue jeans do not qualify as formal attire for a wedding anywhere, and certainly not in a big sophisticated city such as Chicago. Neither does the charcoal suit jacket and matching vest. Not only would you be considered improperly dressed, but you might embarrass yourself and prompt a lot of eye-rolling. The wedding families would not be thrilled with your choice, and others might think of you as a guy who mistakenly thinks he is being cool. The risk of looking foolish is too strong. Go with something much closer to traditional black-tie attire.
By definition, in formalwear known as “black tie” (a tuxedo), the suit is always black. The shirt is always white with vertical pleats in front and with French cuffs.

Tuxedo jackets are fashioned in one of three collar and lapel styles: shawl, peaked, or notched. Along with the three types of lapels, there are two types of closings – single-breasted and double-breasted. Naturally, the trousers match the jacket. A ribbon runs down the outside of the trouser leg. Another note on the trousers. This is the one time when cuffs are never worn. The style of wearing cuffs on trousers originated in England. They were called turn-ups. They resulted from a man’s turning up the bottoms of his trousers to protect them from soiling as he walked around his country estate. Accordingly, men wore cuffs on their tweedy suits or country flannels, but not on their formal evening wear.
Or, if you insist upon rejecting a tuxedo, you could, at the very least, wear all three parts of the dark gray suit with a black bow tie.