And The Men Who Hate Them

By Rachel Birdsell

If you check the news, you might think the year is 1956 instead of 2012. There are more fights about women’s rights than I can ever remember, and I have a few decades to look back on. The president enacted a law that requires employers to provide birth control pills. In it, entities such as hospitals that have a religious affiliation would have a year before being required to comply with the law.

This didn’t sit well with these entities, so the Catholic bigwigs stomped their collective feet until President Obama compromised with them and changed the law to read that the hospitals and charities wouldn’t have to offer contraception, but their insurance companies had to. You would have thought that would have taken care of everything, and the men would shut their traps about women’s reproductive health.

But that doesn’t seem to be the case; presidential hopefuls and congressmen are still screaming about it and claiming there’s a war on religion. Pffft. There’s not war on religion. There are just a bunch of angry, white dudes yelling about women’s rights.

Rick Santorum, who could be described as misogynist — at best — has been very vocal about women’s rights. In 2006, Ol’ Frothy stated that he thought contraception was harmful to women.

Back in October, Santorum stated that contraceptives were “a license to do things in a sexual realm that are counter to how things are supposed to be.” I’m sure the “how things are supposed to be” Rick is talking about, is a reference to what Jesus taught about sex — except that Jesus didn’t talk about sex. He was too busy walking on water, healing the sick, feeding the hungry, teaching his disciples how to fish and raising the dead. Maybe I just missed the Sunday school lesson about how contraceptives were evil.

Often when Catholics are explaining their opposition to contraceptives, they break out the story of Onan who spilled his seed and then was zapped.
They love this particular story because every sperm is sacred, amen and hallelujah! More babies equal more adherents. Oddly, there is a large percentage of the OT that they ignore; such as the law in Numbers that mandates the death penalty for adultery. I’ll bet a certain Newt is relieved this one is overlooked.

The real story of Onan wasn’t that he was killed because he spilled his seed on the ground; the real reason is because he didn’t impregnate his dead brother’s wife.

The law dictated that if his brother died without a son, he was supposed to step up and do his duties. Obviously, he didn’t want to have a child with this particular woman.

Maybe she was a total bitch and he didn’t want to be saddled with her for the next 18 years.

Maybe he found her repulsive and there weren’t enough bags handy. In any case, it’s because he didn’t fulfill his duty to knock up his dead brother’s wife that caused g-o-d with a capital “g” to zap him.

You don’t read about other men being obliterated because they pulled out. There isn’t a biblical account of a woman being snuffed because she used a variety of herbs to try to prevent a pregnancy. If you’re going to use the bible as a basis for your rules, you need to use the entire book, not just the parts you like.

The earth is already overpopulated. We’re taxing our poor planet, and I’m afraid we’re doing so to the point Mother Earth won’t be able to sustain life before long.

Can you imagine how many children would be born if no contraceptives were being used? Banning contraception is a bad idea. Having men decide about women’s reproductive health is an even worse idea.

Why do so many men feel the need to be all up in our girl parts? There are so many other valid issues plaguing our country that should be discussed and repaired.

Do these men want to revert back to the ’50s where women only stay at home and make babies? Is this all just a smear campaign against the president because we’re in an election year? Do these men feel threatened by women having power?

Whatever the reason, I say we all band together, ladies, and let the men know with our vote, the only reason they should be in our vaginas is if we invite them to be there.

Rachel Birdsell is a freelance writer, artist and semi-professional cat wrangler. Feel free to email her a note at

Categories: Commentary