The Nefarious Gay Agenda

The Nefarious Gay Agenda

By Rachel Birdsell

TFW Contributing Writer

Oh, Ricky
I’m sure most of you have seen Rick Perry’s “Strong” video floating around the Internet. It’s 31 seconds of what I like to call “A Glimpse Into the Scary Place That is Mr. Perry’s Head.” Rick begins the video with:

“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.”


He then moves on to ranting how the founding fathers meant for us all to have a fox in the blender and a bible in every pot. Of course, I’m paraphrasing.

So basically it’s a video by another extreme, right-wing politician who’s against gay rights. Well, isn’t that just a breath of fresh air? I am becoming rather fatigued by people fighting against gay rights, or what should be called “human rights.” A lot of these people often state things like, “Them damn gays ain’t just wantin’ rights, they’s wantin’ special rights.”
While that may be so very eloquently stated, it’s not entirely true. Yes, gay men and women are fighting for special rights like free movie passes for life and always getting to cut to the front of the line, but for the most part they just want the same rights the rest of us have.

They want to be free to love, marry and divorce whom they wish as many times as they wish for as short or long amount of time as they wish. They want to have careers and families, and to be able to spend time at family get-togethers arguing over whose turn it is to drive a very drunk Uncle Frank home. Some of them even want to join the armed services to fight for the freedoms of the very people who oppose their right to openly serve.

Artwork by Daniel Florien.




The people who oppose gay rights have even had to come up with a name for the LGBT community’s attempt to receive their deserved rights, “The Gay Agenda,” which I think should always be said with an echo effect. “The Gay Agenda” sounds like there’s a pack of homosexuals who sneak into straight people’s houses at night and stab them with toothpicks that have been contaminated with “the gay virus.”


These pick parties are necessary because gay people won’t be happy until every single person on the planet is gay. That last part is actually true, if you believe the people who made it up. If you’re one of those who think there really is a nefarious Gay Agenda, here’s something to contemplate: If someone is doing something that is so innocuous that you have to make up a ridiculous sounding name and even goofier lies to make it seem ominous, you should really just take your fight to a new playground.

It’s fascinating that there are so many people who are so captivated by other people’s sexual orientation and what they may or may not do in the privacy of their bedrooms. Even more fascinating is that the majority of the time you hear someone complaining about “them gays,” it’s a heterosexual male carping about gay males. I think they may be protesting just a bit too much, and are most likely fighting an urge or two that they find to be uncomfortable.

But, don’t take my armchair psychoanalysis of it. Look back at the numerous news stories about supposedly heterosexual men who were particularly outspoken against that darned Gay Agenda, but then ended up being caught with their dangle in another man’s dingle. In the words of Rick Perry,”Oops.”

Another strange thing is that most of the men griping about gay rights are oddly silent about lesbians unless they’re talking about how “wicked awesome it would be to see two hot chicks getting it on, bro.” This means that they’re complete hypocrites. They’re not against gay rights. They’re not against homosexuality. They’re against gay men living openly in loving relationships with other men, possibly because they’re angry that, for whatever reason, they feel they can’t do the same.

If we stop and look at it objectively, we’ll see that it’s silly, really, to judge anyone and deny them rights based on whom they love. Why must we begrudge two consenting adults for loving each other? We can always do with a little more love in the world, and it shouldn’t matter if that love is heterosexual, homosexual or somewhere in between.


Categories: Commentary