‘The Vixen Manual’

The Bookworm

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

‘The Vixen Manual’, By Karrine Steffans

Sick to death. That’s you — sick to death of buying lingerie with no one to see you wearing it. Sick of one-serving meals eaten alone. Sick of watching sappy movies by yourself, of not wearing makeup because who cares, of looking at an empty calendar filled with empty weekends.

Common sense tells you there are men “out there” but you’d like to know where. Meanwhile, you’re sick to death of being single.

But then along comes real, down-to-Earth wisdom. In the new book “The Vixen Manual” by Karrine Steffans, you’ll learn how to find a man, catch his eye and keep his interest.

First, are you single or singular? Single describes not having a man in your life. Singular is the way you define yourself. Steffans says you must remain singular, even when you’re with someone.

And who might that “someone” be? Steffans says it should be someones, plural. Limiting yourself to one man in the early stages of dating is doing yourself a disservice. And don’t let anyone call you out for seeing multiple men; what you do with your dating life is nobody else’s business. You might even want to consider a younger man, but check IDs to be sure he’s as old as he claims to be.

In Granny’s day, women came with a dowry. Steffans says today’s single girl is her dowry. When you meet a man you think you might want to be with, have something to offer. Men love strength, confidence, goals and a woman who cares about herself. And they love when you make an effort to know them.

“Get into his head … before you get into his bed,” Steffans says. And with that, she presents tips on relationships inside the bedroom, too.

I had mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, Steffans offers mostly sensible advice. Her pointers are relatively simple and quite empowering. On the other hand, Steffans often contradicts her own recommendations. For instance, she indicates that truth is essential in a relationship, then later advocates game-playing to keep a straying man guessing. She writes about how no woman should engage in casual sex, then includes several surprisingly graphic drawings depicting “adventurous” sexual positions. Part of “The Vixen Manual” is spent preaching virtue while another part avows that a “good girl” won’t keep a man around for long.

Overall, this book isn’t bad, but you’ll want to winnow out the useful from the absurd.