Yule news in doggerel

Daddy Warbucks
Yule news in doggerel

At this joyous time of year,/
Daddy W. would like to share the holiday cheer/
And wish all the FFW readers well/
On the occasion of Noel./

Ready to decorate the Christmas tree,/
The election results gave us a new future you see/
A wild runoff brought Mayor Coody down/
Now, Lioneld Jordan is the new Mayor in Fayetteville town./

XNA saw airfares shoot through the sky/
And mercy, gasoline prices were once oh, so high./
Now gas prices are down, but oh my, money is tight/
Growth at XNA isn’t likely, with less and less flights./

Now’s the time to make tasty almond bark treats/
Drama over Wal-Mart’s new chief seem complete./
Retail sales seem strong as the recession rages/
While Tom Coughlin is back on the society pages./

There’s reason to decorate every stitch and seam,/
What a hit was Springdale’s new pro baseball team/
NWA Naturals made quite an opening last spring,/
Area folks sure heard their cash registers ring,/

We’ll hang a bow for the prettiest limb/
Wishing the best to the Walton kids, Rob, Alice and Jim,/
Alice has been busy buying more art,/
Her Crystal Bridges is pretty smart./

We’ll nail a wreath to the front door,/
While Tyson Food trys to stay off the poor house floor./
The grand hall grandfather’s clock goes tick, tock,/
Don Tyson’s sold almost all of his preferred stock./
Dick Bond and others now run the Tyson show./
For them we’ll wish profits as thick as snow./

There’s little forecast of ice and snow/
And Daddy W. and everyone just want to know,/
Economic forecasting is bleak, times are tight,/
We’ve all got to scrimp and save and do it right./
Hoping President Obama’s economic plan is a hit,/
We all know President Bush’s plan was pure spit./

Here come the presents! Bright boxes and crates,/
Stock analysts say watch for lower interest rates./
Arkansans voted in lottery tickets a plenty,/
And, if you don’t like Powerball, just don’t buy any./

Give the very best, the finest gift if you could/
To help celebrate 51 years of jeweler – Underwoods./
While everyone downtown needs joy, harmony and peace,/
Now there are condos and parking garages every 100-feet./

Daddy W raises a glass of holiday bubble cheer,/
To Collier’s Drug which celebrated its 91th year./
While the Collier gang all makes good things go,/
Carl, the Mayor of Dickson Street, is still in the know./

There’s fresh baked cinnamon rolls hot in the pan/
Washington County’s new judge knows the lay of the land,/
Marilyn Edwards ran a hard campaign and won the seat./
She will prove to us all, she’ll land on her feet./

Don’t miss the tiny elves and their nubby knees,/
There’s more to the WAC study than seats and parking fees./
Folks in Benton County want their very own art spot/
But it is gonna take putting some major dollars in the pot./

Kids are always proud of their Christmas booty,/
We’ll have to see how quiet, will be, old Dan Coody./
Friends of his, will do well and not be so snooty,/
Making fun of workers was really, really poopy./

Hear the sleigh bells jingle as the horses eat hay,/
City employees will now have an advocate for better pay/
Six folks ran for mayor, more than our guess/
And as predicted, a runoff was necessary to sort out the mess./

Recall the old angels and their shouts of glory,/
The AMPs financial woes did tell a tragic story./
Now’s the time for holiday cards, so neat,/
Steve Clark will fill the Chamber President’s seat/

It stunned us, like waking to new fallen snow,/
How much new UA Athletic Director Jeff Long is in the know,/
He’s healed the sore wounds with Nolan and the campus/
It’s time for honoring the National Champs./
Fifteen years has literally flown by/
It’s time we raise a banner to Nolan way up high/

Slap the reigns on the horses and let’s go/
Big thanks for football improvements by Coach Petrino/
Hog’s didn’t go bowling and that’s a fact/
But just wait baby, them Razorbacks are headed back/

Among the best of holiday soups and stews,/
Is our very own schoolman, Dr. Bobby New./
He’s in his final curtain call as CEO/
Some question if it’s really time for him to go/
He directs the Fayetteville schools to be the best,/
As academics and athletics soar, we all puff our chests./

We’ll watch out the frosty window for ice and snow,/
Our local prosecutor, John Threet, has been on the go./
Thanks to our cadre of Judges Storey, Smith and all the rest,/
They rank high among the state’s busiest and best./

What’s under the Christmas tree is always a guess,/
But wishing continued success to the U of A Press./
Never forgetting Miller Williams and Willard Gatewood./
Founding fathers of a well respected publishing-hood./

When the presents are opened, wrappings are a mess,/
Yes, we like making new friends, but we like old ones best./
So to tradition and history we say Hooray,/
Keeping the wild trends of pop star at bay./

Any Christmas poem wouldn’t be complete/
Without noting some eateries that still compete./
So here’s to Noodle’s, Hugo’s Penguin Ed’s, Gaylord’s and AQ/
Thanks for you all and for all that you do./

In any list like this, I’ll miss a few friends/
Next year, I will include you to make amends./
To those whom I missed, they can only say “Whew!”/
Until next year, Merry Christmas to you./

Categories: Features