Q. I’m in my early 60’s and dating for the first time in a long while. I’m wondering what elements of grooming are outdated? Specifically, I’m wondering about whether a man should wear cologne or aftershave on a date anymore, or even scented deodorant? 

A. It is good that you’re thinking about these often-ignored concerns. Some of the answers are personal choices for you and/or the person you’re dating. And I certainly have my opinions about scents, but first I’ll focus on definitions and what are the standards today. 

Aftershave and cologne are probably the first two things that spring to mind when talking about scent for men – but what’s the difference?

• Cologne is richer than aftershave and its function is purely to be a fragrance. This means that its aroma is more intense and longer lasting than an aftershave, which has post-shave skin-soothing at its heart. For cologne, you want something that is masculine and fresh, but subtle. Check out well-known fragrance brands such as Dior, Burberry, and Givenchy. 
• Aftershave, less expensive than cologne, used to be thought of as a substitute for cologne. A big part of aftershave is the fragrance. It’s what makes using it a good experience for some men and what keeps them coming back to it. Harry’s is an affordable brand that is also good for the skin. But if you use aftershave and also cologne, you may be creating a problem.  

Since cologne has a straight-forward purpose, it needs less explanation. As mentioned, most aftershaves will have fragrance; especially when we’re talking about old school versions. The fragrance is generally the selling point. These days, the best aftershaves do not just scent your skin. They should also improve it (skin needs moisture after you’ve been dragging a razor across the surface); they soothe potential post-shave irritation and razor burn; and also help prevent razor bumps and ingrown hairs. Thus, good aftershaves can be both functional and fragrance products. When choosing an aftershave, look for versions with ingredients that improve and soothe your skin. Harry’s brand is an affordable, good choice.

The hydration factor is also important. Aftershaves are designed to prevent skin from drying out after shaving. The ideal aftershave for you is one that leaves your skin feeling smooth. It’s worth considering that many aftershaves have high alcohol levels that can be drying, especially to mature skin. Choosing low- or no-alcohol products can help protect skin’s natural oils. Some scented ingredients can also be irritants; so if your mature skin tends to be sensitive, it may be better to choose hypo-allergenic aftershaves.

Although increasing numbers of men now have facial hair, they can still incorporate fragrance into their overall style, whether they’re clean-shaven or not. That would certainly be the case where a man might want to wear a cologne. If you are going to use two products, both of which have a fragrance, be sure they are from the same manufacturer and have the same name. 

I don’t think there is a good reason to use a scented deodorant. While it might be difficult to find an unscented deodorant, it’s worth looking for – even with a fragrance-brand deodorant, the odds are the combined scents would not match or would be overwhelming. Still, if you don’t want to use either a cologne or aftershave, you might choose a lightly-scented deodorant. Dove Men and Old Spice are popular brands. The scent should be one that you, others, and certainly a significant other like.

Cologne, aftershave, and deodorants all come with fragrance: one at a time is fine, but make sure the products don’t clash. Definitely avoid two scented products with two different fragrances; they are likely to make an unpleasant combination. In the same way that smoking assaults many people’s sensitivities, so does too much or the wrong fragrance. One way to tell if your scent choice is the best one for you is by learning what others think about it. How do you find a fragrance that others like on you? Listen for, “You smell great today,” or “I like your aftershave,” rather than, “What is that cologne you are wearing?”

What type of fragrance you gravitate toward is a personal thing, You want something that is masculine and fresh, but that’s on the lighter side. “Subtle” is the key word. More important than the scent itself is the intensity. Aftershave, which is lighter than cologne and more of a skin treatment than a scent, is fine for an office setting. Reserve cologne, which is stronger, for evening, social situations. Even then, keep it on the subtle side.

Please send your men’s dress and grooming questions and comments to MALE CALL: Lois.Fenton@prodigy.net