2012: Cinematic Nerd Odyssey
By Blair Jackson
This is for all you lovers of sci-fi and fantasy. Whether you’re taking your lady or guy on a date or wanting to enjoy an afternoon matinee solo, TFW has compiled a list of the nerdiest, ahem, most anticipated, movies of the year.
JANUARY
“Underworld: Awakening” (1/20)
In a magical time span between “Buffy” and “Twilight,” there evolved a different breed of vampire — the badass, bloodthirsty creatures who wear leather dusters and kick major ass. Kate Beckinsale is back for the fourth flick as Selene, who audiences last saw walking into the sunlight in “Evolution.” (Note: Before “The Twilight Saga,” it was common knowledge any vampire would be burned to a crisp in the sunlight; so Selene’s evolution into a day walker is a pretty big deal. )
After the third installment of the series, the plot is moving forward, melding science and fantasy fiction together in a Frankenstein type scenario. “Underworld: Awakening” reveals a lab experiment designed to create a vampire-lycan hybrid, and judging by the website, the hybrid is one ridiculous CGI.
It’s a good thing Selene is a serious badass or this movie would pass under my Nerdar completely. Regardless of having mediocre expectations for the movie, I do plan to rent the first three movies and go to the show next week — during the day at a discounted rate.
FEBRUARY
“Star Wars: Episode I” in 3D (2/10)
Hold on to your seats, boys and girls: All six Star Wars movies will be re-released — on the same
date, for the next five years. As excited as I am about seeing Episodes I-III in 3D, the real excitement is in seeing the original three on the big screen for the first time. Reportedly, George Lucas is overseeing the conversion of the original movies into their 3D versions.
MARCH
“The Hunger Games” (3/23)
Based on a teen novel featuring themes of self-preservation in a post-apocalyptic world, “The Hunger Games” is a must watch (or a must read). Young people are forced to participate in a televised game in which they rely on audience approval as well as their skills and alliances to survive as they are pitted against one another in a fight to the death.
APRIL
“Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World” (4/20)
Steve Carell and Keira Knightley are scheduled to star in this romantic comedy about the behavior of individuals in the face of the demise of humanity. Carell seeks out Knightly, his high school sweetheart, after his wife leaves him.
MAY
Take your pick 1)“Battleship” (5/18), a science fiction movie in which a naval fleet battles alien spacecraft or 2) “The Avengers” (5/4) in which Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye and Iron Man come together to save the world. It seems a bit overdone at this point, but for die-hard Marvel fans, there is no choice.
Two re-imagined fairy tales are scheduled to release this month: “Snow White and the Huntsman” (6/1) and “Jack the Giant Killer” (6/15). The cinematography and cast of both movies looks promising.
I expect “Prometheus” (6/8) to be the science fiction blockbuster of the year. Scientists searching for DNA linked to the space jockey creature ( made famous in the 1979 movie “Alien”) travel to a distant planet that “tests their physical and mental limits” according to the official plot synopsis. The plot will also present answers to the mysteries of life — quite the bold statement.
JULY
“The Dark Knight Rises” (7/20)
The conclusion to the most recent Batman series will feature Bane and Catwoman as the villains. Bane is remembered from the comics for breaking Batman’s back, and the Nolan brothers intend for him to represent a menacing archetype of brute strength paired with intelligence, presenting Batman with his greatest challenge to date. With the phenomenal success of “The Dark Knight,” fans will need to buy their tickets in advance. I, for one, will be at the midnight showing, just as I was in 2008.
AUGUST
“ParaNorman” 8/17
From the animated studios that created “Coraline” comes “ParaNorman,” a story about a boy who can speak with the dead. He must battle the paranormal to save his town from a curse. It looks like a spooky, good time.
SEPTEMBER
“Resident Evil: Retribution” (9/14)
Alice is still at it. Audiences can’t seem to get enough of a zombie apocalypse angle paired with the corporate greed of mad scientists. Alice, a genetically altered superhuman who harbors a lust for revenge, is the Umbrella Corporation’s embarrassing reminder that experimenting on humans can backfire. Fans can expect zombies to be a little more cognitive in this movie, thanks to the Las Plagas parasite, and they may even drive motorcycles, smoke cigarettes or do a Scarface impersonation with a machine gun. Who knows?
OCTOBER
Sorry, no nerdy movies this month. You can go see “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in 3D.
NOVEMBER
“Gravity” (11/21)
George Clooney and Sandra Bullock are scheduled to star in this action adventure movie that follows two astronauts as they attempt to make it back to earth after an avalanche of asteroids damages their ship and kills their companions. Alfonso Cuaron, who brought audiences “Children of Men” in 2006, is directing the flick.
DECEMBER
“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (12/14)
Bilbo Baggins and his companions will face trolls, goblins, giant spiders and a dragon. This movie promises to be just as action-packed as the trilogy without the political or romantic drama. A tale of camaraderie, bravery and wit, “The Hobbit” is a classic for all ages. Don’t miss it.
“World War Z” (12/21)
Based on the novel by Max Brooks (who also wrote “The Zombie Survival Guide”), “World War Z” portrays the zombie apocalypse in the reports of a UN official, that, when pieced together, create a social portrait of America. For those ladies who aren’t super crazy about zombies, Brad Pitt plays the lead character!
*Release dates may be subject to change.