Q. I’m invited to a Labor Day wedding where I’m close to the parents but not part of the wedding party. It is not black tie, in fact, the description is “cocktail attire suggested.” I’m wondering if I should be wearing a tie, a blazer, or a suit? Would bright blue pants, a gray blazer, and a tie work?
A. I’m afraid that your combination is too casual to work for a “cocktail attire suggested” wedding. Those words on an invitation call for something dressier; not as formal as a tuxedo, but more formal than a blazer and dress pants. That something in between is a dark suit with a good-looking tie.
A few years ago it might have meant a boardroom-type pinstripe suit, but these days almost no one wears a dressy stripe.
You can’t go wrong with a classic suit, a quality dress shirt, and a handsome tie. Choose a suit in a classic dark color like navy blue, charcoal gray, or perhaps black. It can be single- or double-breasted. It can also be a three-piece suit with a matching vest, or you might choose a contrasting vest, say, a smart ivory-colored wool.
Invitations can give you clues. Start with the location, time of day, and time of year. An upscale wedding location, like a large church or a luxury hotel, suggests a more formal outfit, while lighter colors might be fine for a beach or garden wedding, even for a cocktail attire dress code.
Lean toward dressy attire when possible. For a wedding, it’s better to be overdressed than under dressed. Still, don’t go overboard. You want to look like James Bond, not like a high school senior at his prom.
Accessories can be a great way to dress up an outfit and make it more special. Handsome jewelry, cuff links, a great-looking tie (or bow tie), fine dress shoes, even a festive pocket square or a fresh flower boutonniere that adds a pop of color can take your outfit up a notch and completely transform your look.
But a word of caution: for accessories, the bolder the color, the less of it you should see. If you opt for a printed tie, your pocket square should be a solid color that repeats a color in the print – or vice versa.
Footwear, too, can change the vibe of your outfit. These days too many guys are deciding to wear shoes that are too casual, that give a much-too-laidback look. Stay away from anything that resembles a sneaker or that can be called “dress casual.” The right leather shoes elevate a man’s outfit, making it more appropriate for a dressy occasion.
Avoid any clothing item that is too colorful or too flashy. And definitely do not wear anything that seems to draw attention away from the wedding couple. Not “drawing attention away” does not mean not looking your best. In fact, those looking at you should immediately think you are well-dressed, respecting the importance of the couple’s celebration, but not looking like a table flower arrangement.
Please send you men’s dress and grooming questions to MALE CALL: Lois.Fenton@prodigy.net
